Mike Portnoy, looking like my old roommate Adam
Well, at this point, if I were Mike Portnoy, I’d pass on questions about anything I was doing prior to — I don’t know — right fucking now!
No Avenged Sevenfold questions, and especially no Dream Theater questions, ‘cause, well, if I were Mike, I’d say something that’d make me look pathetic and desperate to be back with the band I was most famous for.
From now on, we can’t blame journalists for asking Mike Portnoy Dream Theater questions, even though I have time and again insisted that music journos cease with such tomfoolery.
You can’t blame the journalist from Rocksverige.se, who is probably excited to talk to the drummer, for asking about Dream Theater because, well, that’s the fucking thing you’re most known for and like a fool, you bounced.
Let’s blame Mike for not moving on, for not politely stating a preference to not answer such questions.
Something like, “You know, that part of me is in the past and you can’t move forward if you’re looking in that direction so, if you could kindly move on, I’d appreciate it.”
You’re fucking Mike Portnoy. Control the interview, dude. Say no.
Instead, Portnoy actually brings up the band when asked if he has regrets, which he must (don’t lie to me, boy):
“I don’t think I do. I think there’s a difference between regret and… Let me rephrase that. I actually have a tattoo on me that says ‘no regrets,’ and I actually try to live by that.
“I find that there’s lots of actions you take in your life and if it turns out to be something that brings a result that you didn’t want or you weren’t anticipating, it’s not something you should regret, it’s just simply something you should learn from.
“There’s a lot of things in my life that I’ve learned from and, ultimately, I don’t regret them, because they got me to where I am right now.
“I’m as happy as I’ve ever been and as musically fulfilled as I’ve ever been.
“There’s a quote that I love and I kind of used it in the song ‘Repentance’ and it’s ‘It’s better to regret something you’ve done, than something you haven’t done,’ and I absolutely love that.
“I’m not gonna use the Dream Theater example because I can already see the headlines, so I won’t say it. [Laughs] I’ll paraphrase like this: when I came to that crossroad four years ago, if I hadn’t made the decisions I had, I probably would’ve spent the rest of my life wondering, what if? What if I left the band?
“I think it’s better to follow your heart and take the risk than wonder what could’ve been.”
This time, the journalist didn’t even bring up the band — Mike did.
Just stop doing interviews then, maybe. Mike, you’re your own worst enemy. Just shut the fuck up. Do email interviews.
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